Issue 36. Five MORE things I had to stop coveting to find my authentic style
a reminder to myself, and encouragement for you...
I have been taking in too much fashion content lately, which tends to get my head into a weird space about things I *should* do or try.
Plus, ya’ll seemed to really enjoy the first iteration of this post! Today I’m looking inward and documenting a few more popular styles I give myself permission to skip. I highly encourage you to make a mental list of your own!
The color black
I understand that to many, this is a travesty! But, the whole point of this post is to remind us that our personal inclinations are not wrong, they’re meant to be listened to.
In college (Design major) and the first years of my professional career, I liked wearing black for what the color said about me: I’m a metropolitan, working woman who means business. Over time, as I built confidence and rapport, I gently let go of the idea that the color black is the only way to convey professionalism. Yes, I am professional, yes I take my job seriously, but I am not a serious person. I am light-hearted, loving, warm, and friendly. I feel much more myself in these softer neutrals.
WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: navy, chocolate brown, ecru, white, beige
The trendiest sneaker
A few months ago I felt briefly self-conscious about my athletic shoes at the gym, surrounded by folks wearing different shoes than mine. Then, I remembered that I had tried on heaps of different brands and styles, and found a brand that fit my feet the best. Next time I need to replace my sneakers, I give myself full permission to re-purchase from this brand, whether they’re the most popular or not.
WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: On Running shoes, which fit my narrow feet
Slip skirts
There are so many reasons to like a slip skirt, and yet, I have never felt comfortable wearing them: I feel so exposed by the thin material and clingy shape. Plus, I’ve never found one that fit my proportions right - either its too big at the hips, tight at the waist, or the length is wrong. Never say never, but I’ve stopped trying to make a slip skirt work for me.
WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: loose denim, A-line maxi dresses, cropped wide-leg pants
Exclusively secondhand clothing
From 2013-2022, the vast majority of my clothing was purchased secondhand or vintage. During this time, I massively explored my style and fit preferences, and I’m so glad I did! Once I’d dialed in my preferences though, browsing secondhand or ordering nonrefundable clothing (I’m looking at you, Poshmark and Thredup) ended up creating a lot of waste when things didn’t fit properly or the color wasn’t as pictured. These days, I am open to buying second-hand outerwear, shoes, accessories and handbags in-person, but primarily expect to buy my clothing new.
HOW I SHOP INSTEAD: open to secondhand outerwear, shoes, accessories and handbags
Statement socks
A colorful or sparkly sock has been all over the place lately, and yes I love the look on others. But on me, I feel goofy in a not-authentic way. To those of you rocking this style, please continue to, so I can live vicariously. Ya’ll are cute.
And that’s the whole point, I’m not here to prescribe what does and doesn’t look good, but instead remind us that we have free will, we can wear what we want and leave behind what we don't.
WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: gray crew socks, brown wool hiking socks, no socks on a good day!
Let me know in the comments, are there any style “must-haves” you’re ready to let go of?
Best,
Maureen
I love these reflections from you! I can let go of the idea of a ruffly nap dress, flare pants, and pointy flats. I love these for other people but never feel like myself in them!
Wow, I love all of this but really relate to the shopping secondhand part! I’ve bought so many things that aren’t quite right in the name of sustainability.