Issue 22. Five things I had to stop coveting to find my authentic style

How I let go

I’ll be the first to admit that I like fitting in. I’m personable, want to be liked, and to some degree, I’m comfortable with conformity. Because of this, I sometimes feel pressure to buy into trends even if I don’t like how they look or feel on my body.

Today's topic is about what I've let go of—and how— to create a style that's more authentic to me.

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Silk blouses

A workwear staple that just always felt like I was playing dress up, even when I wore one to an office job.

Just today, I was finally ready to part with the last button-down silk shirt in my closet, a lovely navy blue one, when I realized that ten times out of ten I’d choose to wear a cotton puff sleeve blouse instead. And that’s the point: not that I look bad in a silk blouse, or that they’re not right for anyone, just that there’s something else I already knew I liked and wanted to wear, but struggled to shake the feeling I should be wearing what the cool girls wore.

WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: cotton blouses, white linen shirts, and baby tees

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Traditional trench coats

Another delicious item, so many people rave about and wear incredibly. I bought (and returned) so many trench coats. For whatever reason, I feel so silly in them. They swallow me up, even if they’re technically fitted. Finding a winter coat that worked really well for me was the turning point. Why spend time and effort to find the “right” trench for me, when I already have a great jacket?

WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: oversized long puffer, denim trucker jacket

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Straight-leg denim

Actually, I wrote a whole post on how much better I felt when I stopped trying to force myself to wear straight-leg denim.

Letting go of the internal pressure to wear straight-leg denim became a turning point in giving myself permission to wear what I like, because so many of the other style ideals from the time (including silk blouses and trench coats) supposedly *went with* straight-leg denim. Once I stopped buying straight-leg jeans, the other items no longer felt so essential.

Plus, I’ve been blessed with a trend cycle that has increased access to other styles of pants (namely: wide-leg, full-length denim).

And if you’re one of the people who loves straight-leg jeans, please know I absolutely love that for you. Maybe there’s something else on this list that you may be ready to let go of, instead.

WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: linen pants, loose denim, A-line maxi dresses

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High contrast prints

I love the look of high contrast prints on other people, and, sure I look great in them. But, I don’t feel great when I wear them. I have relatively low-contrast features and can tell a loud print competes with my face for attention. On the flipside, I look and feel amazing in solids, which can come across as blah on folks with higher contrast features.

I’m currently running a style challenge called Project 333 (read the first installment here), and initially included a boldly striped cashmere sweater in my capsule. Barely a week in, I realized I didn’t want to wear this sweater on repeat the way I need to with a more limited number of items in my closet. I’ve already listed mine on Poshmark, if you happen to love how you look in a mariner knit.

WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: solids, marled-knits, low-contrast plaid, fuzzy textures, woven straw bags, worn-in denim

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Boxy tees

Last but not least, a boxy tee simply obscures my curves. Looking “flattering” is not my top priority, but when I compare to how I feel in a slim-fitting tee shirt, a boxy tee shirt is not even competition.

And that’s the whole point, I’m not here to prescribe what does and doesn’t look good, but instead remind you that we have free will, we can wear what we want and leave behind what we don't.

WHAT I WEAR INSTEAD: cropped baby tees, slim-fit tanks, shirred blouses, linen button downs

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Let me know in the comments, are there any style “must-haves” you’re ready to let go of?

Best,
Maureen

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