Issue 81. What if we’re fine just as we are?

Reflections on self talk and imperfect outfits

Jul 09, 2025

I’m writing this following a few weeks of pretty intense negative self-talk. In case this term isn’t familiar to you, negative self talk is a pattern of critical, negative, or pessimistic thoughts that individuals direct towards themselves. My self-talk has ranged from critiques of my personality, to who I am as a friend, to how I dress, and beyond.

As a reminder to myself, and anyone who could use this today: What if we’re fine just as we are? What if our clothing is fine just the way it is?

What if we wear the clothing we have, even if we don’t think our outfits are Pinterest-worthy? What if we wear the pants just because they’re comfortable? What if we like something that someone else says is cringe? Or don’t like something that is super popular. Is that so bad?

A selection of real outfits I wore in the last week, some I liked—some I didn’t. *But it’s all okay!*

I suppose I’m just tired of constantly striving. There’s always something I could be doing better, or not doing, or planning to do. There’s always a trend to be aware of, or a trend to let go of. Sometimes keeping up is fun, but when it’s not—can we listen to the part of us asking to slow down?

Only a week in, I’m enjoying my shopping pause. There’s one less decision to make each day—if I see something I like, I don’t have to consider whether or not to purchase. I can just experience the desire, or whatever emotion (could be jealously or fear) that drives me to consider purchasing. And then, it’s over. No rumination, no anxiety, just “well, that’s that.” And I wear what I already have—even if it’s not my best outfit. Because truthfully, I get to decide what is good enough. And I want to be gentler with myself.

So my encouragement to us today: We’re fine, just as we are. Maybe we just need to pause and let ourselves believe it.