I love this so much. I do subscribe and unsubscribe based on what FEELS good right now. And it’s incredibly freeing. From the side of someone creating content, I don’t have unsubscribe notifications turned on. That’s because I don’t want to know who unsubscribes. Because THEY should feel free to do so and I don’t want that to influence whether or not I still consume their content.
The only ‘influencer’ who has actually driven purchases for me is Amy. And I often evaluate whether I actually LIKE what she’s selling or if I’m buying them because it’s her. And I’m talking about non Tibi items here. Like I bought a Rick Owens belt after she talked about it. And just now, a necklace and a bag. I’ve realized it’s because she’s really smart about finding items that are pragmatic and act as friction TOOLS. BUT it could also be because I just think she’s a genius. Anyway, no great answer here but this is an evaluation I continue to do when I buy things I saw on her. If another influencer had that impact on me I would do the same. Keep following when they are showing me GOOD shit and explaining the why. Unsubscribe if I am trying to be them.
Such good advice! I’ve been curating my subscriptions recently too based on this.
I’m subscribing or unsubscribing based on how I feel. After reading an article, am I excited to go try a new idea out or go play with my wardrobe? Or do I feel like my wardrobe is lacking and I now need to buy all these new things?
I’m also unsubscribing from Substacks that are shopping focused: ie the entire post is affiliate links. Those are incredibly popular if you look at the charts, but it’s not my cup of tea.
Thank you so much for always being that sensible but non judgmental voice of reason ❤️
Thank you for this beautiful and wise post. Fashion Substack is the first place I've really experienced parasocial feelings connected to content creators. And sure enough, there have been times where I realized that connection didn't feel good-- just as you described so well. My method of dealing with this has been chaotic! At first I had big feelings when I realized that nothing from any link I clicked came in my size. I unsubscribed to almost everything! Slowly, as I remembered that fashion inspiration doesn't have to be cut and paste and that even if all the brands had inclusive sizing, a lot of them are out of my price range, I added back the newsletters that were most interesting to me. I think the buzzing feeling of interest and curiosity is a great one for me to notice. Less emotional (I want to BE her) and more artistic (I want to LEARN from her).
Michelle — this is all incredible!! I've also been a bit heavy-handed with unsubscribing and then coming back to influencers/writers when I realized they were missing from my life. So good to give ourselves permission to change our minds!
Between Harriet's post and yours, I'm really opening my eyes to unsubscribing to content that isn't filling my bucket right now. Honestly some newsletters filled me up for a while and don't anymore because I've changed and that's OK!
I think this is one of my favourite posts you’ve written! I resonated with so many of the cues you pointed out for both sides, but most especially with the one about content that makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. And it’s not necessarily anything the writer/influencer is doing, but more self-imposed doubts that start to creep up and make me second-guess myself. That’s a great cue for me to unsubscribe. Thank you for this! Xx
Totally agree with you (and the comments!). I've been feeling very overwhelmed just by the number of (lovely) people I subscribe to, and unsubscribing always feels personal, just because Substack has that intimate, friendly connection. I have been unsubscribing from anything that is almost exclusively shopping focused, or just a list of stuff, or all affiliate-linked (I get it, I don't doubt that the people I like to follow only link to stuff they genuinely like, but it's always all the same stuff, and sustainability is generally low on the list of priorities of a brand with a big marketing budget). Like Asta/Aastha, I have unsubscribe notifications turned off because I don't need to know, and I understand why someone might want to unsubscribe.
To get back to your point - and your point is always about what really serves us, whether it's clothing or content - I absolutely agree that there is no benefit to following content which, intentionally or not, makes us feel bad about ourselves.
This so so helpful! I also find it really important to notice if I actually think they're offering a unique point of view or making me challenge my own personal style, or if they're just regurgitating trends. I don't need more people telling me what to buy, but I really like creators that help me look at items in a new light. Asta is a great example of this for me!
Thank you for tackling this subject. Just as with clothes we need to listen to our bodies when it comes to the content we consume. I have unsubscribed when it had started to feel like an obligation to read the newsletter - just another task to be completed.
I love this so much. I do subscribe and unsubscribe based on what FEELS good right now. And it’s incredibly freeing. From the side of someone creating content, I don’t have unsubscribe notifications turned on. That’s because I don’t want to know who unsubscribes. Because THEY should feel free to do so and I don’t want that to influence whether or not I still consume their content.
The only ‘influencer’ who has actually driven purchases for me is Amy. And I often evaluate whether I actually LIKE what she’s selling or if I’m buying them because it’s her. And I’m talking about non Tibi items here. Like I bought a Rick Owens belt after she talked about it. And just now, a necklace and a bag. I’ve realized it’s because she’s really smart about finding items that are pragmatic and act as friction TOOLS. BUT it could also be because I just think she’s a genius. Anyway, no great answer here but this is an evaluation I continue to do when I buy things I saw on her. If another influencer had that impact on me I would do the same. Keep following when they are showing me GOOD shit and explaining the why. Unsubscribe if I am trying to be them.
Such good advice! I’ve been curating my subscriptions recently too based on this.
I’m subscribing or unsubscribing based on how I feel. After reading an article, am I excited to go try a new idea out or go play with my wardrobe? Or do I feel like my wardrobe is lacking and I now need to buy all these new things?
I’m also unsubscribing from Substacks that are shopping focused: ie the entire post is affiliate links. Those are incredibly popular if you look at the charts, but it’s not my cup of tea.
Thank you so much for always being that sensible but non judgmental voice of reason ❤️
+1 on unsubscribing to the shopping newsletters!
Aww thank you Xue!! Totally understand on shopping newsletters - they make sense when we’re shopping, but may be distracting if we’re not!
Thank you for this beautiful and wise post. Fashion Substack is the first place I've really experienced parasocial feelings connected to content creators. And sure enough, there have been times where I realized that connection didn't feel good-- just as you described so well. My method of dealing with this has been chaotic! At first I had big feelings when I realized that nothing from any link I clicked came in my size. I unsubscribed to almost everything! Slowly, as I remembered that fashion inspiration doesn't have to be cut and paste and that even if all the brands had inclusive sizing, a lot of them are out of my price range, I added back the newsletters that were most interesting to me. I think the buzzing feeling of interest and curiosity is a great one for me to notice. Less emotional (I want to BE her) and more artistic (I want to LEARN from her).
Michelle — this is all incredible!! I've also been a bit heavy-handed with unsubscribing and then coming back to influencers/writers when I realized they were missing from my life. So good to give ourselves permission to change our minds!
Between Harriet's post and yours, I'm really opening my eyes to unsubscribing to content that isn't filling my bucket right now. Honestly some newsletters filled me up for a while and don't anymore because I've changed and that's OK!
I think this is one of my favourite posts you’ve written! I resonated with so many of the cues you pointed out for both sides, but most especially with the one about content that makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. And it’s not necessarily anything the writer/influencer is doing, but more self-imposed doubts that start to creep up and make me second-guess myself. That’s a great cue for me to unsubscribe. Thank you for this! Xx
Loved this Maureen ❤️
Totally agree with you (and the comments!). I've been feeling very overwhelmed just by the number of (lovely) people I subscribe to, and unsubscribing always feels personal, just because Substack has that intimate, friendly connection. I have been unsubscribing from anything that is almost exclusively shopping focused, or just a list of stuff, or all affiliate-linked (I get it, I don't doubt that the people I like to follow only link to stuff they genuinely like, but it's always all the same stuff, and sustainability is generally low on the list of priorities of a brand with a big marketing budget). Like Asta/Aastha, I have unsubscribe notifications turned off because I don't need to know, and I understand why someone might want to unsubscribe.
To get back to your point - and your point is always about what really serves us, whether it's clothing or content - I absolutely agree that there is no benefit to following content which, intentionally or not, makes us feel bad about ourselves.
This so so helpful! I also find it really important to notice if I actually think they're offering a unique point of view or making me challenge my own personal style, or if they're just regurgitating trends. I don't need more people telling me what to buy, but I really like creators that help me look at items in a new light. Asta is a great example of this for me!
Maureen, this was so refreshing to read! I needed to be reminded of so much of what you outlined. You have a gift for delivering this type of advice!!
Thank you for tackling this subject. Just as with clothes we need to listen to our bodies when it comes to the content we consume. I have unsubscribed when it had started to feel like an obligation to read the newsletter - just another task to be completed.
This has so many great ideas that can be translated to both our wardrobes and inbox or feeds, Maureen! Awareness can be practiced in so many ways!!